Monday, July 19, 2010

Dear Abby:

I have entered into a fairly new relationship and I'm starting to have second thoughts. Even though the individuals  come from a few different places, I thought everyone's personality traits would eventually blend together and we would all get along great.
Individually I love each and every one of them. But now that I have spent more time with them as a group, I'm just not sure this friendship is working for me. One particular person in the group seems to be competing for all the attention and it's kinda starting to bug me.


So, Dear Abby, do I continue on in this relationship and spend more time with them, hoping that eventually we will form a lasting friendship that makes us all happy? I've seen a new group hanging around my sewing room and they seem pretty friendly.


So do I just cut my losses and look for a new group of friends, stay with my old friends, or be friends with everyone?

Yours truly,

Frustrated in Fresno

26 comments:

  1. I say be friends with everyone...but in the event you cut your losses, you can send old friends my way! ;)

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  2. Well, since you asked. I think you are right that one friend is just too loud for that group and the others don't seem to be as interesting. They appear to be falling flat. That sometimes happens. You know if your gut is telling you to cut your losses..Do! I think your other friends appear to get along so much better. Actually they look quite exciting.

    I wonder if you took out the one block that's making the most noise and change out that red if the rest would play nicely together or just fall flatter.

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  3. I can't wait to see the advice Abby gives you.

    Now if you'd asked 'me' what I thought of that group of friends, I'd have probably judged on appearance alone and went "euww". Some colors just don't belong together, in my book (is that called prejudice?) Personally, I think the new group has more potential, but who really knows till you get to know them and see how they fit together as a group.

    Do update us on your decisions! ;)

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  4. Okay after saying all that, I was thinking maybe it just needs more red to balance it out. :-)

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  5. I can see what you mean. I don't know what I would do. I'm not terribly good at admitting that I'm cutting my losses. I might say that I'm temporarily unfriending the first set and then just kind of accidentally on purpose lose touch.

    I do like the block on the bottom right. I think that is the one where the colors play best together.

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  6. You could do red sashing OR do something totally crazy and sash with black.

    OR you could rip apart those blocks with the heavy red in them and put in a different fabric instead - maybe a white or cream that goes well.

    Good luck!

    PS I really dig your new friends, too.

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  7. I really live both sets too! I'm wondering if you maybe need a little more red to pull it together...maybe solid cornerstones when we get to sashing? Maybe you need two samplers!

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  8. well...of course it's up to you...but my opinion is...
    Out with the OLD and IN with the NEW! Love those colors together!!
    I have found, w/ myself, that if I'm doing a project where I'm not too crazy about the fabrics, I tend to put off doing it. (Modify Tradition Round 2, for example) So now I know (said to myself in my head), "be crazy about the fabrics you're working with or you're not going to do what you need to do with them!"

    Good luck!

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  9. I do like the old friends. I think a sashing color taken from the patchwork fabrics might help tie everything together nicely, and you might like this more. I can't wait to have some time to start this sampler project. If you decide to move on to new friends, sounds like there are takers who will adopt your old friends!

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  10. Dear Sanity Selvager,
    I say ditch the attention seeker and throw in a little more of what you do like. Explain to the attention seeker they might better serve as a border or binding...or they might have more fun playing at someone elses house. Projects are easier to enjoy when finished!
    Sincerely, Abby's Friend Jhrme

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  11. That's funny! The new friends will be even more treasured if you keep the old and try to figure out a way to make them work.

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  12. make new friends, but keep the old. :)

    very fun fabrics and designs!

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  13. You crack me up! LOL

    If it were me, I'd either pull out the attention seeker and replace it with another print that gives the blocks some balance OR add some more of the attention seeker to get some balance that way too. I love the combination of your old friends and I think they can get along fine with a little work.

    But then you tempt me with purple, grey, and yellow? I love that combo too! LOL

    Jennifer :)

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  14. Love the old friends and the new friends - think they are in separate cliques though. In the old friends there does seem to be bossy one that doesn't like to be left out and is trying to hard to be noticed. I think maybe she needs to be kicked out and maybe replaced!

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  15. Go ahead and make new friends, and then you can revisit the old friends later. Perhaps they will seem more exciting. Then again, I love purple and yellow more than pinks.

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  16. That new group looks like trouble! You'd better send them my way and I'll take care of them :)

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  17. I say tell your old friends that you need a bit of a break. Sometimes moving around with a new group of friends and then going back to the old ones after a vacation can change your perception and relationship to them. I do think your new friends look beautiful together and might be just what you are looking for in this puzzling project.

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  18. love, love the purple, blacks and gold/yellows.

    what a great combo!!

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  19. Is it because that one fabric is a solid? We're so used to working with patterns now, that solids seem harder to work into the mix unless there's a bunch of them together. So I think your instincts are correct--the solid is overwhelming the delicate nature of you prints.

    Now if that wasn't the offending fabric--I take it all back!

    Elizabeth E.
    occasionalpiece.wordpress.com

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  20. Okay, I know you are talking about your quilt, but seriously, you could be talking about my small group!

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  21. Very cute. I sometimes think of MY projects as dancing partners. When the song ends...I switch.

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  22. Dear Frustrated,

    Group friendships can be hard because of trying to mesh all the different personalities, and sometimes it simply doesn't work. It would be rude to oust the loud person from the group, even though she might be annoying the others, too. So, since you love each person individually, it might be better to spend time with them apart from the others, or at least in a smaller group.

    It takes some special individuals to make a group that really clicks. If you think this new group has more potential, I'd say by all means give it a try, or you'll never know, will you?

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  23. the colors and patterns are reall cool and good looking, i really like them and have various ideas about what to do with them

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  24. tee hee i was all worried it was one of us...lol then i realized it was one of your fibery friends :) i take things way to literally!

    I agree with Amy, red blocks or a second sampler!!

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