Thursday, March 17, 2011

"The art of living lies in a fine mingling of letting go and holding on." Havelock Gill

Yesterday our good friends, George and Cheri, dropped by with a card that had that quote on the front. And yesterday I actually lived that quote. On Sunday, I posted about remembering our grandson, Caleb, who was born six years ago on March 13. Actually, March 16 is the day that is always the hardest on me, for that is the day, six years ago, we all had to let him go. When all we wanted to do was hold on.

Shortly after he passed away, Mark and I found a garden statue of a little boy in overalls. I think he was supposed have water coming out of the little hose he was holding. Instead we had a brick base built and had him permanently cemented to the base, in a little area by our front door. (Note: We live in California. Things can tend to "walk" away if you don't take precautions.)

So every year on March 13 we get a balloon and tie it to our little boy.
And every year on March 16 we release it. I hope you won't get  all "environmental" on me. The other days of the year I do care about the potential outcome of balloons released into the sky. On March 16th, I about the environment at large. It's all I can do to take care of the environment of my heart.

Mark and I had a quiet dinner together.

Then I went into my sewing room, cleaned and organized it, took apart my sewing machine, brushed out all the lint from machine quilting Levi's quilt all weekend, put in a new needle, wound some bobbins, threaded my machine, and started working on Pop Beads.

Have you noticed how working with beautiful fabric, making something with your hands, something real, something you can touch, is good for the soul? Thank you, my friends, for surrounding me, encouraging me, inspiring me. It may seem odd to some that you could feel such a close connection with women you have never met. It doesn't seem odd to me at all.


05 08
Asiyah said... #

Here I go getting all weepy first thing in the morning. Thank you for sharing this very personal story from your lives.

Caleb is now where we all should hope to be: resting in the Lord's bosom.

God bless you and your family!

k said... #

This made me cry, in both a sad and peaceful way.

Terriaw said... #

what a beautiful sentiment in that card, and in that precious statue you and Mark have at your front door. I have always found sewing good for my soul too, so I'm happy you found solace in your sewing room as well. Blogging and emailing with fellow sewing friends is that way too.

Pinkadot Quilts said... #

Your post was so eloquent and for me uplifting. Having lost 2 children in our extended family ( 1 and 3) the pain dulls but never goes away. It makes you thankful for the little ones you have! The saying is very wonderful and very true.

Jennifer said... #

What a sweet way to remember Caleb. And thank you for sharing it with us...

As you know, I'm big believer in the healing found through fabric and creativity so I am so glad to see that you found some solace creating yesterday.

Big hugs to you and your family!


Kris said... #

What a lovely tradition for your family! I am so very sorry for your loss.

Needled Mom said... #

With tears in my eyes, I can feel a small part of that terrible loss that you continue to have.

I love the little statue and the idea of the balloon each year. I am sure that Caleb is smiling down on you each day.

Jodi said... #

Wow - wonderful post - thanks for sharing.

Carla said... #

Thank you, Cindy, for sharing your beautiful balloon tradition...what a wonderful and symbolic way to remember your Caleb. My heart goes out to you all.
Your pop beads are so cute!

Grandma G said... #

I don't think you showed me that statue before (or if you did, my memory fails me, which is nothing new). How precious that is, as well as the symbolism of your balloons!

I love that quote... how true it is!

Glad you're finding uplifting in your creativity. May it work as well as robins in springtime! ;)

felicity said... #

So very beautiful and heartfelt, Cindy. I'm so sorry you had to let go of Caleb. You've held on to your love and memories.

I don't find it odd, either, to have found a wonderful community of women who "get" me. I actually think I'm so very lucky.

Doris said... #

What a beautiful tribute. Blessings to you and your family...

Allie said... #

I think your tradition of the balloon is incredibly moving and wonderfully healing - I am so sorry for your loss....

Anne at Film and Thread said... #

It is wonderful that you honor Caleb's life this way and keep his memory alive. Sending hugs to you.