However, for this week and next week, the last two weeks (!) of Farmer's Wife Friday, I am dispensing with a synopsis of the letters. Carla always does such an excellent job of that.
Rather, there will be two guest bloggers. Last year when this series started, I mentioned to each of them that it would be a treat to have their insight for this series. And then the end of the series was here before any of us realized it!
The guest this week is my husband, Mark. Mark spent his first sixteen years living on a farm. He was the middle of five children. His mother worked hard on that farm. So my questions to him were: How do you think your mother would have answered the question posed by the Farmer's Wife periodical? Did she enjoy being a farmer's wife? Would she have wanted farm life for any of her children? So in his own words, here is his answer.
This being the second to the last
post for the Farmer's Wife project, I decided to write this post. I firmly believe if it were not for Carla and
Cindy holding each other accountable, this project would have never been completed. I am
truly impressed and proud of them for this accomplishment.
This journey of letters by the farmers' wives has been really interesting for me. I have read many of the letters and it made me wonder what my Mom would have written.
This journey of letters by the farmers' wives has been really interesting for me. I have read many of the letters and it made me wonder what my Mom would have written.
I was born and raised on a farm in Minnesota for the first 16 years of my life. I was the middle child of five. My sister was the oldest (not really a sister--more like a second mom) then an older brother and two younger brothers. We lost the farm through bankruptcy when I was 16 (sophomore in high school) and moved to Butterfield, Minnesota, population 619. For our family, this really created an interesting situation: the older two only lived on the farm and then were out on their own and never lived in town; the younger two were in grade school so never really experienced the total effect of the farm. I was fortunate enough to experience both.
#60 Noon & Light:
Now about my Mom. My Mom was one of the toughest and hardest-working ladies I ever knew: five kids, a husband, cooking three meals a day (breakfast, dinner & supper), lunch for
the workers in the morning and a "little lunch" (Minnesotan) in the
afternoon. Every meal was made from scratch: bread, buns, zwieback, bars, cookies, all vegetables fresh from the garden in summer and
canned fruits and vegetables for us to eat in winter. Every summer she canned corn, green
beans, applesauce, beets, carrots, pickles, in addition to the peaches, pears
and apricots we purchased. I can only guess, but her goal was
100 quarts for each of the homegrown
staples. All our meat was raised and butchered on the farm, with my uncles and
aunts sharing the work with each other. This Included beef, pork, and chickens. Mom did it all with no water
heater--only a large built- in cast iron pot (50 gallon) with a wood fire box
underneath to heat the water. In addition, she heated water every Monday the same
way to do the wash and hang it outside to dry. In the winter I learned what "freeze dried" meant!
#103 Whirlwind
A real treat for us once or twice a year was for Mom to buy a loaf of Wonder Bread. I
couldn't believe how white and soft it was, and to this day my favorite sandwich
is with plain old white bread. It was the same with Oreo cookies. We got so tired of
home cooking that any time there was store-bought food we were in seventh
heaven.
Not only did she work hard, she was tough. When my youngest brother was a year old, I was 7. Mom was helping harvest the corn. She was unloading a trailer of ear corn into the elevator hopper. The wagon front was raised so the corn would slide down but it got stuck in the top corner. She climbed in to loosen it but her weight tipped the trailer over, breaking her ankle and trapping her under the trailer until someone came looking for an empty trailer. All I remember was that she went to the doctor and was soon back home telling all us kids how to do things.
Not only did she work hard, she was tough. When my youngest brother was a year old, I was 7. Mom was helping harvest the corn. She was unloading a trailer of ear corn into the elevator hopper. The wagon front was raised so the corn would slide down but it got stuck in the top corner. She climbed in to loosen it but her weight tipped the trailer over, breaking her ankle and trapping her under the trailer until someone came looking for an empty trailer. All I remember was that she went to the doctor and was soon back home telling all us kids how to do things.
#2 Autumn Tints
When I was 9 or 10, she began to have vertigo attacks that would last for days. She
would spend time in the local hospital and later weeks at a time at the University of Minnesota as they tried to figure it
out. They never did figure it out and she spent most of her life on very strong epileptic
medicine. While she was in the hospital, the church people and friends pitched in
with food and help. The minute she was home, it stopped. While hard for her,
this is where I learned to bake and cook. Mom was
weak and would sit in the chair and tell me what to make and how to do it.
When I was 20 and in college, she developed breast cancer and had a radical mastectomy at the University of Minnesota. She was sent home to get things in order and was given 6 weeks to 6 months to live. They gave her very strong radiation treatment for a month before sending her home.
#40 Friendship Block
At age 80, she passed out and they did a MRI and found a benign brain tumor
the size
of a grapefruit around her brain stem. She had surgery and they only
removed half of the tumor and part of her frontal lobe to relieve
pressure. Again, she was given 6
months to live. She lived another 8 years.
With her never-give up attitude, her incredibly strong faith
and being just plain tough, she died 36 years after being diagnosed with breast cancer, and did not die from cancer!
The hardest time for her and me was dealing with the farm bankruptcy. My Dad had a non-farming job and was not home much so my Mom and I prepared the farm for a bankruptcy auction. That was easy compared to dealing with bill collectors who had no rules or laws to follow and were ruthless. When they came to the farm, my Mom always called me to be by her side, as they would call my Mom names and accuse her of lying when she said she didn't know anything about the bills. Later on we found out my Dad, the only one who could get the mail, hid the bills and my Mom was not lying to the collectors--she really didn't know about the bills. My experiences with my Mom and the lessons I learned from her have had a profound effect on my life and have shaped the way I have done things.
The hardest time for her and me was dealing with the farm bankruptcy. My Dad had a non-farming job and was not home much so my Mom and I prepared the farm for a bankruptcy auction. That was easy compared to dealing with bill collectors who had no rules or laws to follow and were ruthless. When they came to the farm, my Mom always called me to be by her side, as they would call my Mom names and accuse her of lying when she said she didn't know anything about the bills. Later on we found out my Dad, the only one who could get the mail, hid the bills and my Mom was not lying to the collectors--she really didn't know about the bills. My experiences with my Mom and the lessons I learned from her have had a profound effect on my life and have shaped the way I have done things.
All the time this was going on my Mom told me I should be a teacher and never
farm, or marry a farmer's daughter where I would have to work the farm. I did go to college
and was a teacher and coach for five years in Kansas. Those were the years she was the proudest of
me. When I told her I was done teaching and moving to California with no job, a wife who was seven months pregnant, with no house and only a few thousand dollars in our pocket, she was so mad at me
she really didn't talk to me for several months. A few years later I was able
to become a part owner in a new cabinet business and I started to call her every
Friday morning and to teach her the business of sales, margins and deals I was
working on. I started to realize how smart she really was--she had just never
had a chance. Every call ended with her saying “be honorable and never lose
your integrity”--words I have tried to follow.
I can tell you that without my farmer's wife
Mom I would not be where I am today. She taught me hard work, trustworthiness,
to do what you say and say what you do, and to be honorable. She was financially poor
all of her life but ultra rich in teaching me the values of life.
Luv ya, Mom, and I miss our Friday morning chats
Luv ya, Mom, and I miss our Friday morning chats
Thanks, Mark. Your farmer's wife mother raised a fine man who has become an awesome husband (though a bit ornery at times....), father and grandfather.
Don't forget to stop by at Carla's place to see her thoughts on this week's farmer's wife, along with some really cute blocks.
Next week, the final block will be revealed. And we will hear from a present-day farmer's wife.
Don't forget to stop by at Carla's place to see her thoughts on this week's farmer's wife, along with some really cute blocks.
Next week, the final block will be revealed. And we will hear from a present-day farmer's wife.